Should You Move in Together Before or After the Wedding?
Should You Move in Together Before or After the Wedding?
Published: 08 August 2021
Know Your Expectations And End Goals
The first thing you need to think about before deciding if you should move in together before or after the wedding is both your and your partner's end goals. Are you already engaged, talking about marriage, or nowhere near that point? Is marriage on the table, or was it never even discussed? What does your partner think about commitment? Where do you see yourself in five years? Make sure you've communicated with your partner about both of your plans for the future before deciding on this big next step. It could happen that, while you're thinking you're going to get married to your current partner one day, they haven't thought about it at all. Whatever the results of this conversation are, it's better you have it sooner rather than later. It will help you know what you're getting yourself into.
The Dilemma
If you and your partner have the same end goal, you can move on to the next part of the decision. It's time to consider the pros and cons of both sides.
If you have completely different end goals, carefully think about making this kind of decision. Healthy communication with your partner is vital!
Living Together Before Marriage
You're considering moving forward and not waiting until after your perfect wedding day to start living together; that's great! There are plenty of fantastic things to look forward to when living with your significant other, even without a marriage certificate. However, moving in too soon can have certain negative effects on a couple. Take some time to consider both the pros and cons:
Pro: Your relationship can grow stronger
Once you move in and start living with your partner, you will get to know them better. You might be thinking you already know them well, but that's nothing compared to how well you will know them after you start spending much more time with them. Taking this step could significantly deepen and improve your relationship.
Con: You may put your relationship at risk
While your relationship can improve after you start living together, it can also go the opposite way. Moving in is a big step, and if you're not ready for it, it can put a considerable strain on your relationship. If you've ever shared a room with someone, you know that it can be fun but also difficult. If you don't have a strong support system in place, you could put your relationship in danger. Living together will bring new issues into your relationship that you and your partner have most likely never faced before.
Pro: You will save money
By living under the same roof and splitting the bills, you and your partner can save a lot of money. You will go from paying two rents to one, which is not insignificant. That saved money can go toward planning and organizing the wedding of your dreams. Alternatively, you could invest it towards your better future together. If you choose to go the big wedding route, consider our list of beautiful destination wedding ideas that will wow all your friends and family.
Con: What you save in terms of money, you may lose in terms of relationship quality
This is a massive disadvantage if you're moving in together solely to save money. Things can easily not work out once you start living together. Without a life-long commitment, you may not feel the need to work on improving your relationship. That's why, before deciding whether to move in together before or after the wedding, consider the cost of things not working out — it may outweigh the savings of living together before marriage.
Pro: Wedding planning can feel less stressful
Living together before getting married can alleviate some of the stress of the wedding day. Planning a wedding is inevitably time-consuming; there are so many things to do in so little time. One advantage of moving in together before getting married is that you can plan the event together. By living together, you can spend your time picking out food, flower arrangements, and everything else that makes for the perfect wedding day. If you haven't already picked a theme, check out our list of unique wedding themes you'll adore.
Moving In After The Wedding
If you're leaning towards moving in after you and your partner are officially wed, that's great too. There are plenty of valid reasons why people choose to put off this big step until after the ceremony. Some people do it for religious reasons, others out of necessity. At the same time, some want to make it more special by waiting. There's no one correct answer to this dilemma. Every couple is different and should do what they feel suits them the best. Whether you decide to move in before or after the wedding, the most important thing is to be prepared for it. There are lots of valuable tips online that can help you with planning, packing, and organizing the relocation. And by hiring movers, you're guaranteed to have a smooth and easy beginning of your life together. .
Final Thoughts
Living together can be a pleasant, relationship-enhancing option, but, as with marriage, it is vital to consider all the sides. In the end, a decision to move in together before or after the wedding should be made as a couple, based on your shared ideas and values.
